What If Your Parents Were With You On First Dates?
I have a good friend who lives in India. He is of age, in India, to be married and start a family. He was right on course for this until recently when his engagement ended abruptly when his fiance returned from working two years in America.
As part of his heartbreak recovery his parents are setting him up with possible wives. His first date is this week. He is really nervous, because unlike his past first dates, this one will be with her parents and his. Just picture a young couple who is meeting for the very first time, no internet profiles of each other, no phone conversations before the meeting, the silence is almost deafening. I haven’t dated in years and I have no idea what he must be feeling right now. He doesn’t want to disappoint his family, but he is not sure that he is ready for anything this extreme. Who is?
I encouraged him to be brave and to grow from the experience. I also shared with him a few life lessons that apply as much to business as they do to life.
1- Be honest.
You don’t need to tell someone one all of the details of every minute of your life in the first meeting. WHOOOO. If someone asks you a question, tell them the truth. Unless you have a great memory, it’s too hard to remember what lie you told to whom.
2- Be sincere. SINCERE: adjective- free from pretense or deceit; proceeding from genuine feelings.
If you own a company part of your job is sales. The best sales people I know are sincere about helping their clients. I believe people can smell you when you try to fake sincerity.
3- Do your best.
Your best today will not be the same as your best next year. Always do your best right where you are today. Everything looks different with more information and knowledge, don’t waste time looking in the rear view mirror of life and beating yourself up.
4- Mean what you say and say what you mean.
As a woman, I must confess, at times in my relationship with my husband I don’t always say things. For some odd reason I have thought that he was part mind reader and just knew what I was thinking. To set the record straight he is not a mind reader, he did not take that class in college and he is not enrolled in any upcoming classes on “how to read your wife’s mind, what is she thinking?”
Communication is KEY in every relationship you have with another human being.
5- Trust your Instincts and Gut.
Don’t ignore it, don’t confuse it for indigestion, don’t poo-poo it away. Recognize it, understand it and do something about it. If needed it’s not a bad idea to check with your close advisers to make sure you have made a balanced observation and then make a decision.
As for my friend in India, I will keep you posted when I learn more about how their first date went. You never know.